Unfinished

When I turned 20, I thought to myself, “Oh my God, you’re gonna graduate, get married, and soon have a family” and it scared me. Ideally, I wanted to be married by 27, but at 23, I’ve started to think that maybe that’s too soon.

For anyone who knows me well enough, knows that I’m just like any other girl who likes to plan every little detail about the wedding she will one day have. I admit, it’s like a guilty pleasure for me to browse through wedding blogs and magazines for ideas, with the thought in the back of my mind asking, “would I even be able to afford that?” But realistically speaking, I shouldn’t even be thinking about the materialistic aspects of this imaginary wedding.

Realistically speaking, I should be thinking more about myself. I need to start being selfish about things pertaining to my life, at least little by little.

Since last Christmas, I’ve always toyed with the idea of just moving out to Seattle, staying in a studio apartment, downtown, with the company of a cat. It sounds pretty drastic, I know. Almost like cutting off the only world I know and starting over. I would utilize this time in my life as a way of “finding myself” —how cliché. I never understood what people meant by that, but I imagine it’s just a lot of down time to think about what one wants and how to reach their goals without any distractions.

These last couple of months, I’ve been struggling with where I see myself in the future. I don’t stress about which particular path in life I have to take because I do believe in options. I suppose the hardest part to all of this is figuring out how even begin.

Maybe I should start by getting off this and actually starting my final paper that’s due in 19 days.

Procrastination at it’s finest.

Once Again…

Out of frustration, I started another account. I couldn’t remember any of my account information for the other blogging sites I’ve had. This is what I get for having multiple email addresses and passwords. But I mean… it doesn’t hurt to be on the safe side; it just sucks forgetting. I suppose writing these kind of things would be helpful, but I’m quite terrible at remembering where I’ve placed certain things. Talk about memory loss.

Anyway, it’s a quarter til 5… am, that is. I really shouldn’t get comfortable with staying up this late since, for the last four months, I finally fixed my sleeping schedule. I went from going to bed at 7am to actually getting tired around midnight. Pretty dramatic change in lifestyle, I must admit. My eyes are getting irritated and weary, most likely from staring at this computer screen for hours now with an exception of doing laundry and folding clothes. -Which, by the way, I’ve realized that oil stains are at the top of my pet peeves list. I highly advise everyone to check for chapstick before deciding to wash any article of clothing with pockets…

Reverting back to why I started this account: I need a place to dump all my older blog posts that I, personally, enjoyed typing up or have just felt are worthy keeping. I mean, that’ll be my initial purpose for this, but knowing myself, I’ll end up rambling on about whatever I’m currently infatuated with or something along the lines of what is going on in my head. Was it really necessary for my first post to be about my purpose? Well, why not? It’s like the introduction of an essay; you can’t just begin without an explanation… it just sounds awkward if I were to just be straight forward and dump a crapload of posts all in one sitting. Imagine if someone were to come across this and realize 15 posts were all from one day… I, myself, would like some sort of explanation for one’s said actions. So, here it is.