*I suppose it’s time to start dumping a couple of my old posts from Tumblr onto here. Rereading some of them made me think exactly where my mind was at. Nevertheless, they made for some pretty interesting posts.*
I have this addiction to coffee.
But the thing is, I was so good at controlling my cravings, especially after Lent when I became so accustomed to not giving in to my urges. This summer, though, I relapsed. Maybe that’s just a little bit too dramatic… to say it like it’s some sort of illness. I mean, I know there are people out there who can’t survive starting their day without a cup of coffee, but my cravings usually happen around midnight. Although I tell myself to ignore it because I know I can’t afford staying up a few extra hours, I alway give in… easily. Starbucks. McDonalds. Burger King. Anywhere. Lattes. Frappes. Cappucino. Anything.
So here I am, laying in bed, and it’s 4:17 am. I have 10 pages to read before class tomorrow and yet, I’m pushing it off in order to type this pointless post about my addiction to coffee. I’m going to regret this in the morning. All it’s going to do is lead to a series of events that I’ll eventually regret simply because I asked Long to make me coffee at 1 am after our spur of the moment food run to HEB.
Anyway, the caffeine has long kicked in and I’m awake. For the past year, I had this problem of staying up until 5-6 am. I would survive off of 5 hours of sleep and I became used to it. Over the 3 weeks I spent at home, I fixed my vampire lifestyle… but that was short lived. I think it’s partially due to the coffee I’m consuming at the wrong hours of the day… or should I say night? Point is, I’m up late at night, therefore it leads to plenty of alone time. Not really physically, but mentally.
Don’t people become delusional after certain hours of the night? Not that I’m implying I’ve become delusional, but my thought process is just everywhere. Would it be weird to say that I, sometimes, feel like I’m having a conversation with my own thoughts? I think about the different people I’ve encountered in my life, the past, what I could have done to change certain situations, what I could be doing with all the time I’m wasting, etc. Sometimes, I even worry. Who worries at 4 am in the morning? I do. It’s ridiculous how much my mind works at such odd hours of the day. Sometimes, I get antsy. I hate being the only one up during these hours. I hate that nothing is open, besides Wal-Mart.
Frankly, I think I just don’t enjoy sleep as much as others do. I mean, from time to time, I like to sleep in. But lately, I feel like sleeping is just wasting valuable time. I could be doing so many things (besides studying) while everyone else is sleeping their lives away.
Last month, the last two weeks of school were probably some of the best nights of my life; granted some of them were spent studying my life away. But seriously, I stayed up til 5-7 am having the best random conversations, ever. In the end, the sun would be rising and people were up starting their day while I was ending mine. Without Kelly, those days certainly would not have existed. In little over a week, I’m gonna see this bitch and needless to say, I’m very excited. Hah. I just can’t wait until fall semester begins and we can continue to wreck havoc on Thursday nights! Haha, just kidding. Sort of.
Alright, well I think it’s that time to start reading for class.